Saturday Night at the Movies
-- Lauri Przybysz, MS Ed
Your Marriage the Great Adventure, ACT August 2003

Last Saturday, we stayed up longer than our teenager for a change. For us, that’s saying something! With the house to ourselves, we actually watched a movie together: Family Man with Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni. John had seen it on an airplane and had raved about it. As it happened, I had just seen that title in a new book that came across my desk, Let’s Watch a Movie: Using Popular Videos to Enrich Your Marriage, Mary F. Moriarty. The book provides a brief description of 38 movies, new releases and classics, along with a page of discussion questions for couples to use to talk about the movie after they see it. You don’t look at the questions until after you see the movie. So, though I usually don’t have enough patience to sit through a whole movie on TV, I joined him on the couch.

When I read through the questions, I could see why the book is designed for you to work as a couple, not in groups. This is not just an exercise in movie criticism or philosophy. You use the movie as a springboard into your own relationship. The discussion questions invite you to respond to each other on an intimate level, “to lead to a deeper relationship based on better understanding of and acceptance of one another.” Here are a couple of examples:

• Snow appears when Jack is transported in time and place, and again in the final scene at the airport. When has something magical or surprising happened to you in the snow or because of the snow?
• Jack works for Big Ed. Describe the work ethic of your family of origin. Do you admire this work ethic? After whom have you modeled your own work ethic?

Other questions gently raise other subjects: what you admire about your spouse, anniversaries past and present, retirement, frequency of lovemaking, and long- and short-term separations. The directions for using this book are very flexible, and you do not have to answer all the questions; just one question may occupy you for a while.

Discussion questions are provided for A Beautiful Mind, Field of Dreams, The Patriot, Liar Liar, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Shipping News, and many more popular films. For the movie, Nine Months, there are questions for couples with children and without children. The movies highlighted will appeal to men, women, and married and engaged couples of any age. The author notes, “If you find that there is an objectionable theme in the movie you are watching, please understand that the movie was chosen to stimulate discussion between you as a couple; the movie’s inclusion in this book is not an endorsement of any questionable behavior.”

Why not put the kids to bed and curl up together in front of a great movie? All you need to bring is the popcorn and the gift of your time and attention.

This little book would make a great anniversary, wedding, or Valentine’s Day gift. Get one for your parents! To order a copy from the publisher: 1-800-321-0411 or email ttpubs@aol.com.

Let’s Watch a Movie: Using Popular Videos to Enrich Your Marriage, Mary F. Moriarty, Twenty-third Publications, 2003. $9.95. 81 pages ISBN: 1-58595-256-7.

Mary F. Moriarty is Associate Director of the Family Life Office in the Catholic Diocese of Albany, New York.